


DEH Carrie AU

by IWannaBeYahtzee



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Carrie (1976), Carrie (2013), Carrie - Stephen King, Carrie the Musical - Fandom, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Angst, Blood, Blood and Gore, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Child Abuse, Connor is damaged, Death, Dehumanization, Doomed Relationship, Gore, Heavy Angst, Hope vs. Despair, Insanity, Jared Being an Asshole, Major Character Injury, Major character death - Freeform, Mild Sexual Content, Misandry, Poor Evan, Religious Fanaticism, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, This AU is not kind to Connor, Zoe is a good sister, carrie au, carrie the musical, deh au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-04 23:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 16,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13374915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWannaBeYahtzee/pseuds/IWannaBeYahtzee
Summary: Everyday, I just pray.Every move I make is right.Where I go,Who I know.Will I be alone on Saturday night?Connor does not have a good life. He faces relentless bullying at school and his religiously devoted mother is his only comfort at home. But when he discovers a strange new power within him he becomes a whole new kind of dangerous.





	1. DEH Carrie AU "In"tro

**Author's Note:**

> The first part of my Dear Evan Hansen Carrie AU. Based off of Carrie the Musical.This is gonna be more like a stage play or a movie script than a narrative fic. Enjoy!

(A harsh light comes up on Evan and Zoe in a police station. They are exhausted, the look of trauma in their eyes)

Policeman: Names please. State your full names.

Z: You already know our names! Zoe Murphy and Evan Hansen!

Policewoman: And where were you born?

E: Washington. We were b-both born in W-Washington D.C. we already t-told you-!

Policeman: And when did you meet Connor Murphy?

(Evan is on the edge of tears)

E: I told you I b-barely knew h-him! We- we met in g-grade school! I d-don't think I'd said a hundred words to him before...before... (he pauses to collect himself before putting his hand in front if his face to shield his eyes from the blinding light) c-can you turn that down? I can't see.

Policeman: Tell us about the night of May 28th - about the occurrences that lead up to the alleged event.

Z: ALLEGED? Why do you keep making us tell you the same things over and over again?! What, are you trying to catch us in a lie?! Is that it?!

Policeman: We need the truth.

E: We've already told you everything we know! How many times do we have to go through this?!

Policeman: Until it makes sense.

Policewoman: Until we understand.

Z: What you need to understand is that we were just kids! Kids trying to do our best. We we're all just kids.

 

(Flashback to a crowded hallway of miserable teenagers milling about, Connor blending into the crowd) 

 

All:  
Stop. Go. Who am I? Move. Ha! Come on, come on.  
Father, mother, preacher, teacher  
Failure!  
Am I? Am I? Am I? (Am I continues in the background)  
No. Am I? Am I stupid? Am I hopeless? Am I?  
Violence! Silence! Broken. Used. Black. Bruised.  
What about me? What about me? I dream! I drown! I wait!

Kids:  
Everyday, I just pray.  
Every move I make is right.

Evan & Zoe:  
Where I go,

Evan & Jared:  
Who I know.

Evan, Jared, Zoe, Chloe:  
Will I be alone on Saturday night?

Kids:  
And I worry  
What if I stand out one bit?  
I worry  
What can I possibly do to fit in?  
Perfect clothes. Nose.  
The perfect skin, face, all ace!

J.D, Jake, Chloe, Heather Duke  
Both my folks. 

All:  
Total jokes.

J.D:  
All they do is chew my ass!

Kids:  
Blah blah blah blah (Random blah's in the background).

(Kids put their hands over their ears or making talking motions with their hands)

Rich, Jake, Heather Chandler:  
They should just be glad I make it to class.

Evan, Jared, Zoe, Chloe, Kids:  
I don't worry, if I blow my SAT's  
I worry, what can I possibly do?  
To squeeze in, pow! Why not now? When will I belong?

(Kids go to their locker to retrieve books and shut them in synchronicity at 'pow!')

Look where I am, damn! My whole life feels wrong!  
What if I do snap? Holy crap!

(Kids look at Connor who shoots them a death glare, shoves his books in his bag and pushes past his peers.)

I'd crawl out of my skin!  
And so would you,  
'Cause life just doesn't begin. Until you're in.

(Crowd disperses)

(Spoken)  
Mr Heere: Don't you all have somewhere to be?

Chloe (Faux flirtatiously): Maybe there's somewhere I'd like to be Mr. H.

Mr. Heere (Just as sarcastically): Charming, Mrs. Valentine but I'm happily divorced.

(He sees Evan trailing behind Zoe with a lovesick look on his face.)

Mr. Heere: Evan Hansen! Put those puppy dog eyes away and get to class!

Evan: Yes sir!

(Evan slinks off to class, embarrassed, as Jared calls after him.)

Jared: Hey you two, get a room!

Mr. Heere: And you, Jared Kleinman, lose the gum before class.

(Jared takes it out and asks condescendingly)

Jared: Where should I put it Mr. Heere?

Mr. Heere: You can swallow it for all I care, just get it out of your mouth. 

(Jared narrows his eyes, sticks the gum back in his mouth and trudges off to dispose of it. Connor ambles by, head down.)

Mr. Heere: Connor Murphy get a move on! Gym class in two minutes!

(He reluctantly ups his pace.)

(Cut to gym where the boys are stretching.)

Boys:  
Ha-ah. Ha-ah.  
God, it's rough. Stayin' tough.  
Wonderin' what the world will say.  
"Make a plan!" "Be a man!".  
All this frickin' bullshit gets in the way!

(The boys file into the gym and line up for volleyball)

All:  
I go crazy,  
nobody cares what it does to me  
And it's crazy!  
I would go out of my mind.

(The game begins)

("Am I" in underlapped)  
To be in, shit! In is it!  
What comes close to that?  
Until you've been in,  
You ain't where it's at.

'Cause when you're out, well, life is Hell.  
You can never win.  
There's no doubt,  
That life just doesn't begin. Until you're-

(Connor drops the ball)

(Spoken)  
Everyone: Aaaaaw!  
Rich: Way to go, Connor!  
Jake: Yeah, way to blow it!  
Jared: Loser!  
Mr. Heere: Hit the showers boys, go change up!

Connor (Spoken, He mumbles the prayer under his breath. The response seems more automatic than as if he's freely reciting it):  
Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.  
Thy kingdom come,  
Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.  
Amen.

(He trudges off towards the showers with the rest of the boys.)

Boys:  
And someday, if I don't stand out one bit

(Evan and Connor have a brief encounter where Connor looks his way and Evan nervously scurries off. Connor irritated by this stomps his way to the showers)

 

Everybody:  
Oh someday, I may be normal enough

Girls:  
To fit

Boys:  
To fit in

Everyone:  
Geez, shoot me please!

(Connor throws down his bag and does a finger gun gesture at his temple)

Put me out of my pain!  
Am I a mess? Yes!  
Totally insane!

If I am not missed,  
I don't exist, that's the greatest sin!  
I'd rather be shot!  
'Cause, life just doesn't begin.

Doesn't begin.  
Doesn't begin.  
Doesn't begin.  
Doesn't begin.  
Until you're in!


	2. DEH Carrie AU The Shower Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The infamous shower scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah you all knew this was coming.

(As Connor heads to the shower his eye catches Evan sequestered off in a corner of the room, shyly tugging his shirt up over his head where he hopes no one will see him. Connor quickly looks away as a blush rises to his cheeks. He starts to feel strange in a way he never has before.)

 

(Connor comes darting out of the shower with a towel hastily wrapped around his waist, panicking and hyperventilating. Unfortunately in his distress he accidentally bumps into Jared allowing him to feel his 'little problem')

J: Ugggh! Get off me you freak!

(Connor looks to the boys desperately for help, terror in his eyes)

Con: Help me! Help me please!

Jake: What the hell is up with him?

J: Oh my god are you hard?!

J.D.: Seriously dude?! In the showers?! Nasty! What were you watching us or something? You psycho!

(Connor, not understanding continues to reach out for help grabbing Jake by his jacket)

Con: Please! Help! Help me! Something's wrong with my body!

Jake: Get offa me fag!

(Jake slaps his hand away)

J: It's just a stiffy! Just take care of it!

(Jared throws a towel at him. The other boys start joining in throwing towels, rags, socks, and then anything they can get their hands on chanting ' TAKE CARE OF IT! TAKE CARE OF IT!' Connor falls to the ground and backs himself up against the wall, still begging for help, tears rolling down his face. Jared runs to Evan, yelling to be heard over all the commotion.)

J: EVAN YOU GOTTA GET IN ON THIS!

E: Jared-

J: C'MON! DON'T BE A PUSSY LIKE YOU ALWAYS ARE!

(Jared hands Evan a bar of soap. And so reluctantly Evan joins in and throws the soap at Connor. The ordeal goes on for another agonizing minute before the kind gym teacher Mr Heere pushes his way to the front of the crowd.)

Mr H: What is going on here?! 

Con: MY BODY! Something is wrong with my body! 

(Mr. Heere realizes what's happened)

Mr H: Connor calm down now-

(Connor starts clawing at Mr Heere as he gets closer)

Con: HELP ME! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!

Mr H: SNAP OUT OF IT!

(Mr Heere slaps Connor across the face and above them a light bulb bursts. Gasps and undignified shrieks ring out as the room collectively jumps. Except for Connor who is quite still now except for the slight trembles going through his body, in shock. Mr. Heere takes him by the shoulders and shakes him lightly)

Mr. H: Now look at me. You're gonna stand up and you're gonna take care of yourself alright?

(Connor stares at him with dazed, confused eyes. Evan timidly steps out of the crowd.)

E: M-Mr. Heere I t-think this is the first time this has ever h-happened to him...

Mr. H: What?

(He looks at Connor, confused and terrified with tears running down his cheeks and knows it has to be true. He puts his arm around him and helps him to his feet)

Mr. H: It's okay Connor. You're gonna be alright. It's totally normal. I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Rich: You have GOT to be KIDDING ME!

J: How pathetic can you get?!

Mr. H: That's enough! Clean this mess up and get to class! Shame on you. Shame on all of you!

(He guides Connor out of the room)


	3. DEH Carrie AU Connor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the big "Carrie" number from the musical.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys should really check out the musical if you haven't already. It's amazing!

J: Where does he get off?! Yelling at us like that?! 'Shame on you!' Not our fault the weirdo gets a stiffy and is too stupid to know what it is!

E: (looking visibly ashamed and uncomfortable) I guess so.

(Cut to Mrs. Fleming also looking rather uncomfortable who is talking with Mr. Heere)

Mrs F: It's hard to believe anybody today could still be...ignorant about the facts of life 

Mr H: That's just it. When I tried to explain it to Connor, he didn't seem to understand what I was talking about.

Mrs F: You'd think his mother would've told him.

(Cut back to Jared and Evan talking)

J: Ugh! That mother of his! Always ranting and raving about how everyone's going straight to Hell! Except for her and her precious Zoe and Connor! Oh my god do you remember in third grade when they got down on their knees and prayed in the middle of the cafeteria! Ha ha ha! 

(Cut to Mrs Fleming and Mr. Heere)

Mr. H: Jared Kleinman was the ringleader of course.

Mrs. F: No surprise there.

Mr. H: Even Evan was doing it.

Mrs. F: Evan Hansen? You're kidding? I'd expect this kind of thing from Jared but Evan?

Mr. H: They were all doing it.

Mrs. F: Well there'll have to be punishment. This kind of thing cannot be accepted.

(Cut to Jared and Evan)

J: And did you see that light? BANG!

(He jumps at Evan startling him as Connor walks by)

J: I always knew he was a freak.

E: Sshhh! He'll hear you!

J: And?

(Connor shoots him a glare and Jared smirks back at him, a challenge implicit in his stance and expression. Connor turns and stomps off)

J: You know what Rich calls him? "Creepy Murphy!" (fakes a laugh) Do you love it?

("Creepy Murphy" spoken amongst the crowd of teens for a moment, Connor walks the hall trying to block out the childish nickname until finally he can't take it anymore. He turns to the whispering crowd and bellows)

Connor:  
That’s not my name!

(He stalks away)

Doesn’t anybody ever get it right,

(He punches a locker in frustration)

Connor!  
Maybe then I wouldn't have to pick a fight!  
Connor!  
Is it any harder so say then;  
God damn total spastic, and psycho and dumb bitch?!  
Doesn’t anybody think that I can hear?

(He covers his ears)

I hear!  
‘speically when I’ve got them screaming in my ear,  
I hear!

Every day they mock me and push me around,

(Someone shoves Connor who shoves back and in the process he ends up on the floor)

‘til I drop  
If I had a wish, God, I wish they’d stop!  
When will they  
I wish they’d  
When will they, when will they, when will they?!

(Connor forces himself to his feet as kids stare and whisper)

Sometimes their hatred is out of control,  
God how I hate them!  
Mama says suffering is good for the soul,  
But they hurt me!  
And if I could, I’d bring them all,  
Down to their knees!

(For a moment we go inside Connors head, seeing what he's seeing, we see all the kids that tormented him so down on their knees around him)

I’d make them sorry forever for teasing Connor  
Connor, Connor!

(We exit the fantasy sequence and Connor goes into the bathroom and sinks against the wall, arms crossed over his chest)

I will not cry,  
I am okay,

(He pushes off the wall)

I try so hard to play it their way.

(He goes and stands at the sink and looks at the mirror)

Why do they find it so hard to say Connor?

(He exits the bathroom)

Why do they always treat me so bad,  
They all know my name?  
It’s Connor!  
I don’t know why I just get so mad,  
It’s always the same!

(He leans against a locker and sinks down to the floor)

What’s going on deep in me,  
All of these feelings suddenly?

(He puts a hand to his chest)

If I am changing, will I still be;  
Connor?

(He rises up)

Or maybe I'll be somebody new?

(There is hope in his voice)

Imagine, the things I might do!

I might take a chance,  
I’ve always wondered how  
Maybe I'd dance  
And try to laugh more than I do now.  
And the world will open its eyes,  
And for once the whole world will recognize Connor!

Then all those people who scream night and day:

(He twirls his finger next to his forehead)

“Poor crazy Connor!”  
They’d see the new me,  
And they might even say:  
“Look! It’s Connor!”

(He holds his arms out in recognition)

And finally, I’d hear that word,  
Sounding so sweet!  
Thousands of voices forever repeating: Connor,  
Connor, Connor!

I am the sound of distant thunder,  
The colour of flame!  
I’m Connor!  
I am a song of endless wonder,  
That no one will claim!  
But someday, oh my, someday!  
Someone will know my name!


	4. DEH Carrie AU And Adam Was Weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And God made Adam the first man  
> And Adam was weak.  
> And Adam was weak.  
> And Adam was weak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't say I didn't warn you. This AU is not kind to Connor.

(We see Jared and Evan walking with a group of boys)

J: You haven't asked her yet, have you?

E: I-I'm gonna! I'm just...waiting for the right moment.

J.D.: You wait much longer prom's gonna be over.

(Connor attempts to walk past them, hunching his shoulders, hoping to go unnoticed. It is unfortunately unsuccessful.)

Rich: Well look who it is! If it isn't boner boy!

(J.D. approaches him)

J.D.(In a mocking tone): How's your "little problem"? Do you need a little help?

(He glares at him and he goes sprawling to the floor. The boys laugh.)

J.D.: Augh! What the hell?!

Rich: Nice one J.D.!

Jake: How's your pussy princess?

(J.D. stumbles angrily to his feet.)

J.D.: SHUT UP! THE BASTARD TRIPPED ME!

J: Sure J.D. C'mon Evan let's go.

(Evan pauses and looks at Connor like he wants to say something to him but can't quite find the words, or muster the courage, or both. He turns and walks away with the others.)

 

At the Murphy Household 

(Connor walks into his house, depressed, angry and weary from his tiresome day. From the threshold he can hear gospel music 'OPEN YOUR HEART LET JESUS IN' and starts to smile as he thinks of his mother waiting for him. He walks into the kitchen and sees his mother making some sort of weird vegetarian concoction with the radio sitting next to her. Having heard him come in Cynthia turns and smiles at him)

C: Ah, Connor- there's my precious little boy!

(She walks over to him stands on her tiptoes and kisses his forehead)

(Connor is already feeling better)

Con: I love you, Mama.

C: I love you, Connor. Now go wash your hands and set the table for dinner, please, I'll be done with this soon.

Con: Mama something happened at school today- it wasn't me, I swear!-something terrible.

C: Terrible things are the lords way of testing us, Connor.

Con: I know, but the other boys-

C: You're not like the other boys.

Con: But I am, Mama, I never thought I was but-

C: You're NOT Connor. You're different. Special. You remember what the doctor told you?

Con: I know but in the shower-

C: What have I told you about showering with the other boys?

(He rolls his eyes)

Con: 'sigh!' It's a sin.

C: And as such it is forbidden.

Con: I-

C: FORBIDDEN!

Con: 'growl!' Please listen to me, Mama!

C: I've heard all I want to hear, Connor. Now go set the table.

(Frustrated he yells over her)

Con: MY BODY STARTED CHANGING! I accidentally saw one of the boys changing clothes in the showers and I felt so weird and my body started changing and I was so scared and the other boys just laughed at me!

(Cynthia stares aghast, her worst fear realized)

Con: ...Mama why are you looking at me like that?

C: (whispering) The curse of lust.

Con: What?

(She takes her bible out of a drawer)

 

Cynthia:

Bow your head and pray, young man.  
And God made Adam the first man,  
and Adam was weak and loosed the raven on the world.  
(Mama, it wasn't my fault.)  
And the raven was called sin.  
And God visited Adam with a curse,  
and the curse was the curse of lust.  
Say it young man.

And God made Adam the first man  
And Adam was weak. (Mama, how could I know?)  
And Adam was weak.  
And Adam was weak. (Why didn't you tell me?)

And God made Adam to bear the curse.  
The curse of lust, (It's not a curse.)  
The curse of lust. (Mr. Heere said it's something all boys body's do.)  
The curse of lust. (You should have told me!)

(Cynthia uses her bible to force Connor to his knees)

You're a man now! Pray to heaven for your wicked soul!

The raven came to plague the world,  
Its name was sin (It's not a sin)  
Its name was sin (Oh, Mama, it's not a sin)  
Its name was sin, Begin!

And lust was how the sin began  
The sin was man (I don't understand)  
Well understand (No!)  
The sin was man (What have I done?)

God has seen your sinning,  
Just beginning!  
Pray for your salvation!  
From Damnation!  
Pray or  
(She grabs Connor and holds him forcing him to read until he wriggles free) He will burn you!  
He will burn you!

(She stands and begins to pace frantically)

The seed conveys the power  
And it's come again (Mama, what is the seed?)  
It's come again (Don't you care)  
It's come again (About all their misdeeds?)

Until the seed is crushed  
The power never ends!  
It never ends!  
It never ends!

(Connor stands)

(Mama, I was so scared and they all stared!  
Then I started crying I thought I was dying! Mama!)  
Have you no sense of shame?! (Please don't hurt me!)  
Pray for mercy, get down on your knees! (Please don't hurt me!)  
(She throws Connor back down and he backs away into a corner his arm stretched out in self defense) Satan's staking his claim!  
'Cause your soul is a hole of disease!

I can see you inside! (Don't believe with your eyes!)  
Full of sin, full of pride! (Those are lies, Mama, lies!)  
That's how Lucifer fell (Mama, how could I know?)  
And you're headed for Hell!  
(She grabs him by the arm) I won't let you go! (Mama, let me go!)  
Heaven hates a sinner!  
Hates a sinner (I'm not a sinner)  
(She clutches at his chin) Save your soul from burning! (Mama, stop it's burning!)  
God, he's burning! (Stop it's burning!)  
Pray or (No! Mama, please!)

(Cynthia drags a struggling Connor to a tiny prayer closet)

He will burn you!(Stop! Get off!)  
He will burn you!(No!)

(She shoves him inside and he lunges for her but she slams and locks the door. The tiny wooden door shakes as Connor pounds against it and alternately begs and demands to be let out)

And God made Eve from Adam's Rib  
And Eve was weak.  
And Eve was weak.  
And I was weak.

I prayed this day would never come,  
I should have known,  
I should have known,  
Now I'm alone.

And so afraid  
Oh Lord, I've seen this power before  
The flesh is weak and I implore  
Father, don't forsake him!  
Father, take him!  
Cleanse and purify him!  
With the fire  
And the power  
And the glory  
Forever,  
And ever,  
And ever,  
Amen!


	5. DEH Carrie AU The World According to Jared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared spells out his philosophy...in song!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was real fun to write.

E: Jared and I had a...c-complicated relationship. One minute all he wanted to do is hang out with me then the next he wanted n-nothing to do with me. He was an ass but...he was all I had...

 

(We see Evan at Jared's party, his cousin Jeremy is there to escort him and make him more comfortable as he's not the biggest fan of crowds or parties in general. Jared swaggers over with a bottle of liquor.)

J: Ev! Glad you could make it!

E: H-Hey Jared. Uh you remember my c-cousin Jeremy right?

(Evan gestures to Jeremy who waves awkwardly. Jared looks at him a second before waving dismissively, handing Jeremy the half empty liquor bottle and wrapping an arm around Evan.)

J: Uh huh, yeah sure- hey listen! I've got great news! Looks like we're gonna be going to college together after all!

E: I t-thought Evergreen turned you d-down?

J: Yeah well dad pulled a few strings and now I'm in! We can totally be roomates!

E: O-oh! Jared that's great-!

(Jared sees Heather Duke arrive)

J: Heather! Bitch get your gorgeous ass over here and give me a hug!

(Jared abandons Evan and goes over to Heather Duke.)

(Heather Chandler talks with Chloe Valentine)

H.C: You could have anyone, what do you see in him?

(She gestures to Jared.)

C: Easy. He's funny and he totally freaks out my dad!

J: Oh my god Duke if only you could have seen it! Connor Murphy gets a hard on in the boys showers and he doesn't even know what it is!

H D: Your joking!

J: Swear to god! You should have seen him flailing around in a towel, screaming like a stuck pig! 

(He puts on an exaggerated and insulting Connor voice and proceeds to do an impression, running around clutching his waist as if holding a towel and flailing his other arm wildly.)

J: "HELP ME! WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BODY?!"

(Everyone at the party bursts out laughing except Evan)

E: That's n-not funny Jared!

(Jared's expression suddenly becomes serious)

J: No. Y'know what? He's right guys. It's not funny...IT'S HYSTERICAL!

(He and the others begin laughing even harder than before. Evan frowns at him.)

J: Face it Ev, every school's got a loser! And our loser...is Connor.

(Singing:)  
Guess what, ever since the world began  
Same plot, everyone's been dumping on their fellow man  
Pounding people they feel better than!

(Jared punches Evan 'playfully' in the arm. Evan winces and grabs his forearm.)

I hope you're taking notes cause  
You feel everyone deserves a shot

(Jared makes a gun with his fingers and 'fires' it)

Get real!  
Some of us have got the stuff  
And some got squat  
That's the truth, oh honey, like it or not!  
I hate to break it to you

My parents taught me  
You get no where being nice!

(He stands with his hand on his hips and shaking his finger dissaprovingly.)

So now I'm sharing their advice!  
The world according to Jared is  
Better to strike then get struck!  
Better to screw then get screwed!  
You'd probably think it's bizarre  
But that's the way things are!

(Jared crosses his arms superiorly)

(Spoken)  
Evan: But that doesn't mean it h-has to b-be that way! What does it cost to be k-kind?

Jared: Ew. What have you done with my best family friend? Chloe, tell me, am I right, or am I right?

Chloe:  
Trust me  
I swear  
There's a bitch in every class!  
Not fair!  
Each and every time I fail those losers pass!  
Hey, everyone of them can kiss my ass!

Jared:  
You wonder why I love her!

Billy:  
One year, there was this good looking girl  
So queer  
And on top of that she had a wandering eye  
One day she looks at me  
And, BAM!, bye-bye!

Jared:  
I bet she got the message

Jared and Chloe:  
We're here to tell you how this whole damn freak show works

All:  
Oh, yeah yeah yeah

Jared and Chloe:  
If you don't listen, then you're jerks!

All:  
The world according to Jared is  
Better to punch than get punched!  
Better to burn than get burned!  
Learn that and you're gonna go far!  
Cause that's the way things are!

(Jared starts moving his hips in a decidedly goofy way but everyone just goes along with it)

Jared:  
Ha-na na na na na na na na!  
Ha-na na na na na na na!

(Everybody starts to dance)

All:  
Ha-na na na na na na na na  
Ha-na na na na na na na

(Spoken)  
Evan: (Incredulously) Do you believe him?!

Jeremy: C'mon, he's just being Jared.

Evan: You weren't there. It was a-awful! We were h-hurting Connor!

(Evan clutches at his hair in shame and guilt)

Jeremy: (Trying to calm him down) I'm sure it wasn't that bad.

Evan:  
Jeremy, you don't understand  
What was just a joke got out of hand!  
We kept on screaming til he hit the floor!

(Spoken)  
Jeremy: Ev, you don't need to freak out about this!

Evan:  
Hey, I was in there too  
What came over me was something new!  
I did things I'd never done before!  
And now I wish there's something  
I could do or say  
I've never ever felt this way!

(Jeremy puts an arm around Evans shoulder and guides him away from the crowd)

Jeremy:  
Look, Ev  
Don't be so hard on yourself!  
You can tell him to keep his mouth shut

(Gesturing to Jared)

But, wanna know what I'd advise?

Evan:  
What?

Jeremy:  
Apologize

(Evans face lights up with comprehension)

(Spoken)  
Evan: Apologize! Oh, Jeremy! You're a genius!

(He hugs his cousin)

Jared:  
Ew, Ev  
I can tell you're feeling sad

All:  
Boo Hoo!

(Jared fake rubs his eyes as if he's rubbing tears away)

So, we clobbered Connor and it's too damn bad!

Jared:  
This is why you've gotta love my dad!

All:  
He's got the right idea!

Jared:  
My daddy taught me who's on top and who's below

All:  
Who's below

Jared:  
And now its time I let you know

(Jared condescendingly boops Evan on the nose. Evan does not appreciate it.)

The world according to Jared...

(Jared strikes a pose.)

(Spoken)  
Evan: You're joking, right? You can't possibly mean all this?

Jared: Why are you being such a buzz-kill?

Evan: Jared, grow up!

(Evan leaves the party, Jeremy close behind him. Jared stands there his pride wounded.)

All:  
Ha-na na na na na na na  
Ha-na na na na na na na na

(Seeing Jared upset Chloe stokes the party.)

Chloe:  
Let's start this party, people!  
The world according to Jared  
The world according to Jared

(Jared stomps off to his room and slams the door behind him)

The world according to Jared  
The world according to Jared 

Jared:  
(surprisingly vulnerable)  
The world according to Jared is  
Better to whip than get whipped  
Even if somebody bleeds

(Jared pulls off his glasses in front of his mirror and rubs the space between his nose and his forehead)

(Spoken)  
Please

(Singing)  
Nobody dies from a scar  
That's just the way things  
Are


	6. DEH Carrie AU Evening Prayers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesus watches from the wall  
> But his face is cold as stone  
> If he loves me  
> Why do I feel so all alone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we really get a sense of the Murphy household.

(Zoe is at the door to the prayer closet. She knows Connor is in there. She considers letting him out but she fears her mothers wrath. She reaches for the handle, she hesitates...she turns quickly and shuts herself up in her room. Inside Connor sits sequestered in a corner of the tiny closet with his knees pulled up to his chest, looking up at the hauntingly beautiful wood carved crucifix hanging on the wall in front of him.)

Connor:  
Jesus watches from the wall  
But his face is cold as stone  
If he loves me  
Why do I feel so all alone?

(He stands and plucks the crucifix from the wall, contemplating it.)

Baby savior, meek and mild  
What do you do with my prayers?  
If you hear me  
Why do I feel that no one cares?

(Cynthia stands outside the prayer closet praying)

Cynthia:  
Father almighty, he's only a child  
But the man is waking inside him  
He will be lost if his passion runs wild  
So I can't let him stumble and fall!  
As you helped your child divine  
Give me the strength to help mine

(Connor now sits with his back against the door, the crucifix on the floor in front of him)

Connor:  
Mama sees inside my soul  
But her face is cold as stone  
If she loves me  
Why do I feel so all alone?  
So alone!

There's a movement in my head  
Saints and angels, what can it be?

(Connor clutches at his head, tossing it from side to side)

It's growing!  
It's stirring!  
It's churning!  
Shifting!  
Bending!

(Connor watches, shocked, as the crucifix slowly rises up of it's own accord in front of him before dropping back to the floor.)

(Spoken) What's happening to me?

(There's a click and the door swings open. Cynthia is standing there.)

Cynthia:  
You can go to bed now.

Connor:  
Yes Mama.

(He stands, exits the closet and begins walking to his room)

Cynthia:  
You must forget what happened today.

Connor:  
Yes Mama.

Cynthia:  
God will protect you.

Connor:  
Yes Mama.

Cynthia:  
God will forgive us.

Connor:  
Yes Mama.

Cynthia:  
It's getting late. Say your prayers.

(Connor kneels at his bedside and says his evening prayers, somewhere in between rehearsed and sincere.)

Connor:  
Now I lay me down to sleep

Connor/Cynthia:  
Pray the Lord my soul to keep  
If I die before I wake  
Pray the Lord my soul to take

(Cynthia puts a hand on her sons shoulder, hoping she imagined the tremble that ran through him)

 

Cynthia:  
I never wanted to cause you such pain  
But there are times when my life is so frightening  
Maybe I do things that I can't explain  
But my feelings for you never change

(She tucks a strand of his long hair lovingly behind his ear)

You are still my precious son  
Can you forgive what I've done?

 

Connor/Cynthia:  
Mama, you don't (I was wrong)  
Need forgiveness from me  
Oh, I know that you do (It hurts me,to hurt you.)  
What you have to. (I'd rather die)  
I want to dry all your tears (Then see you)  
So you'll see (Suffer)  
That I'm sorry for letting you down (One day you'll bless me, for lighting the way)  
Won't you bless me now (Can you look inside your heart?)

(Connor nuzzles into her chest)

Can you look inside your heart? (That's where forgiveness must start)  
Show me the mercy that you've always shown (After all)

Both:  
We have no one except each other

Connor/Cynthia:  
(The world outside)  
I'm so afraid that you'll leave me alone! (Can't understand you)  
And I'd die if you pushed me away! (When they betray you I'll always be here!)  
Promise you'll be here! (You're the reason I'm alive)  
You're the reason I'm alive. (You're the only reason I survive!)  
You're my survival!

Both:  
In my life there's only one thing true!  
I love (will always love) you.

Connor:  
I love you, Mama.

(Cynthia kisses his forehead as she rocks him gently.)

Cynthia:  
I love you, Connor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This family has some complicated relationships.


	7. DEH Carrie AU Dreamer in Disguise/Once You See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan and Connor cross paths again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some art for this chapter on my tumblr page:  
> https://goponylover.tumblr.com/post/168340745584/ec-for-years-you-look-you-look-at-someone

(Mrs. Rosenberg addresses her unruly class.)  
  
Mrs. R: Okay, okay-settle down now people-settle down.  
  
(She begins to write 'Compositions' on the board as she talks)  
  
Mrs. R: As many of you have been accepted into college I bet you think you can coast through the rest of this term. But I'm here to tell you...  
  
(She turns and faces the class)  
  
Mrs R: ...you are sorely mistaken.  
  
(She begins to pass papers back.)  
  
Mrs. R: The abysmally poor scores of this week's assignments were only exceeded by Mr. Murphy and Mrs. Valentine, who couldn't even be bothered to turn one in. I don't suppose you two have an explanation?  
  
(Connor just stares down at his desk, silent. Chloe just crosses her arms over desk defiantly.)  
  
Chloe: I got nothin.  
  
Mrs R: Well there's a shock. And it's "I don't have anything". Maybe if you payed attention a bit more in this class you'd know that. There was, however one glimmer of hope! One composition that truly touched me with the authenticity of its emotion. I would like that person to recite his work for the class. Evan?  
  
(Evan looks down at his lap and begins messing with his shirt.)  
  
E: D-Do I have to?  
  
Mrs. R: Yes. Stand please, and read your poem.  
  
(Evan reluctantly gets out of his seat and walks to the front of the classroom. He nervously fidgits with his paper.)  
  
Jared: Don't fuck up!  
  
(Evan flinches and starts to sweat.)  
  
E: Uh..."Dreamer in Disguise".  
  
Chloe: Oh my god!  
  
E:  
An eagle's just another bird  
Until he can spread his wings.  
A river is just a sheet of ice  
'til winter turns to spring.  
  
(Singing)  
  
And though the clouds may block the sun  
Don't mean that it's left the sky.  
Just when you think you've seen it all  
There's more that meets the eye.  
  
Like things I dream and things I feel  
There's more to me than I reveal.  
  
And 'cause I shine in quiet ways  
I'm someone you don't recognize.  
I'm a diamond in the rough  
A dreamer in disguise.  
  
An eagle's just another bird  
Until he can spread his wings.  
  
(Evan stands awkwardly)  
  
E: Um...thank you.  
  
(He hurriedly heads back to his seat.)  
  
Mrs. R: Thank you Evan. Class, any comments?  
  
(No one responds)  
  
Mrs. R: Well don't everyone raise their hands at once. Come on. Anyone? Anyone at all?  
  
C(More to himself than anyone else): ...Beautiful.  
  
Mrs. R(Desperate for anything): Connor Murphy! Yes! Please speak up! Share your thoughts with the class!  
  
(Connor, put on the spot, freezes up. He can feel every eye on him and that is making his anxiety flare up.)  
  
C: ...Beautiful...just beautiful...  
  
R: "Beautiful"? Like "Oh beautiful for Amber waves of _gay_?" Nice one, Boner boy!  
  
Mrs R: That's enough out of you, Richard. Go on, Connor. How did the poem speak to you?  
  
C: ...I think...I think it's saying that just because something-or somebody- seems one way...it doesn't mean it is that way.  
  
Jared: And _I_ think I'm gonna barf!  
  
C: Shut UP KLEINMAN!  
  
Mrs. R: Be quiet! Both of you!  
  
(The bell rings and students start filing out of the classroom)  
  
Mrs. R: Quiz tommorrow! I suggest you all brush up on your Moby Dick. The book, not the movie.

(Evan hangs back)

J: Ev! Quit starin at your shoes and c'mon we're goin to Steevies remember?

E: Y-Yeah I'll be right there.

(Connor is still at his seat packing up.)

E: U-Uh Hi Connor.

(Connor looks up at him perplexed and a little irritated.)

E: Uh that was um really nice. W-What you said a-about my poem. L-Listen about w-what happened, things just got really out of h-hand. I-

(Connor, seeing Jared over Evans shoulder assumes it's a trick.)

  
C: WHAT?! HAVEN'T HAD ENOUGH?! JUST HAD TO TWIST THE KNIFE IN A LITTLE DEEPER?!  
  
(Evan backs away, shaking his head, his hands up defensively.)  
  
E: W-what? N-no I-!  
  
C: WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!  
  
(Connor shoves him to the floor and stomps off. For a moment Evan lays there in shock before slowly picking himself off the ground.)

J: Yeesh! Temper, temper! Am I right? Ev?

(Evan doesn't answer. Jared shrugs and leaves. Evan walks to the side of the stage and Connor comes out onto the other side.)

  
  
E&C:  
For years you look

(They turn and look at each other)

  
You look at someone passing by,  
And then one day you see them

(They walk to each other)

  
One day you finally see him!  
  
My God, he shook,  
And then he looked me in the eye  
  
I'd never seen him angry (I'd never seen him so scared)

I hate I made him angry! (I hate I made him so scared!)

(They stand back to back.)

  
He... He's always been there.  
I... I never knew  
  
I felt as though  
This boy revealed himself to me  
And now I know,  
That once you see  
You can't unsee  


(They glance back at each other before going their separate ways.)


	8. DEH Carrie AU Mr. Heere's Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan finally gets his chance to apologize but thing go seriously sour for Jared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Don't look at me like that! You read the tags! Jared's a coldblooded asshole in this fic. Deal with it.

Mr H: Okay boys! Line up!  
  
(All the boys except Connor, who has been allowed to take study hall instead this week, line up for gym.)  
  
Mr. H: You've got a big week coming up haven't you? Prom and then graduation? Evan, you've been gunning for Zoe Murphy, huh? And what about you Jared? Who's the lucky girl?  
  
J: Chole Valentine.  
  
Mr. H: You gonna get her a corsage? Or you just gonna wrap a skeet rag around her wrist?  
  
J: I so don't need to hear this-  
  
(He starts to walk away but is cut off by Mr Heere.)  
  
Mr. H: You're not going anywhere, Kleinman. Do any of you stop to think that Connor Murphy has feelings? Do any of you stop to think?! You did a really shitty thing the other day. A REALLY shitty thing-  
  
E: I'M SORRY!  
  
Mr. H: ...What was that Mr. Hansen?  
  
E: I'm...I'm sorry. I'm really sorry Mr. Heere.  
  
Mr. H: ...Well that's very nice of you to say Evan. But don't say it to me. Say it to Connor. You can ALL say it to Connor. Right here in front of everyone.  
  
(Gasps and horrified looks are exchanged between the boys)  
  
J: Forget it. I won't.  
  
Mr. H: That's up to you, Jared. That's up to all of you. But if you don't your suspended. And if your suspended your out of prom.  
  
(He leaves to get Connor)  
  
J: That fucking Creepy Murphy! This is all his fault!  
  
E: Just l-let it go, Jared!  
  
J: What? You're taking his side now?!  
  
E: I'm n-not on anyone's s-side! I j-just wanna be done with all of this! S-Sure Connor isn't the nicest guy but what did he ever do to you!? To any of us?!  
  
J: Well aren't you the self righteous little prick! Who was in there pitching with the rest of us?!  
  
E: Only because you wouldn't leave me alone till I did! And I'm sorry.  
  
J: Oh he's sorry?! Do ya hear that guys? Evan is sorry! Evan is sorry! EVAN IS SORRY!  
  
(They start to tousle until Evan angrily shoves him back)  
  
E: SHUT UP JARED! I'M SICK OF YOU AND I'M SICK OF YOU'RE MOUTH!  
  
(Jared is silent for a moment, shocked and appalled. He opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by Mr. Heere bringing Connor into the room. Connor looks very uncomfortable, like this whole thing is a formality that he just wants over with so he can put the whole thing behind him)  
  
Mr. H: You all have something you wanna say to Connor?  
  
(Jared glares daggers at Evan and mouths 'Don't. You. Dare.')  
  
(Evan glares right back and with all the confidence he can muster walks up to Connor)  
  
E: Connor I...I'm really s-sorry..  
  
(Connor doesn't look at him but nods slightly and Evan slinks away in shame)  
  
Mr H: Richard?  
  
(He hesitates before quickly walking past Connor muttering)  
  
R: ...Sorry...  
  
Mr. H: Jake, your turn.  
  
(Jake strides to him and looks him up and down before shrugging and noncommittaly saying)  
  
J: Sorry Connor.  
  
Mr H: Jason Dean?  
  
J.D.: ...Sorry.  
  
(Jared stands with arms crossed)  
  
Mr H: Well, Jared? Let's hear it?  
  
J: Like hell I will!  
  
Mr H: We're waiting, we don't have all day Mr. Kleinman!  
  
(Connor curls in on himself, more uncomfortable than ever)  
  
(Seeing no other way Jared sighs and puts on a 'sincere' tone)  
  
J: Connor I...I...  
  
(Connor reluctantly looks at him, wondering if he'll actually go through with it.)  
  
(Jared gets up in Connor's face)  
  
J: CONNOR MURPHY EAT SHIT!  
  
(Connor grabs Jared by the collar as all the boys except Evan break out into shocked laughter. Mr. Heere quickly steps in to break up the fight. He guides Connor into a chair and drags Jared away)  
  
Mr H: Young man, you are suspended! You're out of prom!  
  
J: WHAT?!  
  
Mr. H: You heard me! You're out! End of story!  
  
J: You can't get away with this!  
  
Mr H: Watch me!  
  
(Jared tries to storm out but Mr. Heere catches him by the arm)  
  
Mr H: There are still ten minutes left! This period is not over!  
  
J: STICK EM UP YOUR ASS!  
  
(Jared jerks his arm out of his grip and shoves Mr. Heere. In anger Mr. Heere shoves him back and he falls to the floor. All the boys laugh and Connor cracks a smile.)  
  
Mr H: Class Dismissed!  
  
J: My dad's a lawyer! He'll sue your ass!  
  
Mr H: Put a sock in it!  
  
J: You'll never teach in this town again!  
  
Mr H: (to others) Get moving! All of you! Now!  
  
J: He can't get away with this! If we all stick together they can't suspend all of us!  
  
Mr. H: I said, class dismissed!  
  
J: Rich...Jason...Evan!  
  
E: Just shut up Jared! Not everything is about you!  
  
(He walks out with the rest)  
  
(Jared stands nears quivering in quiet anger)  
  
J: This isn't over! This isn't over by a long shot!  



	9. DEH Carrie AU Two Unsuspecting Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Heere comforts Connor and gets him to consider the possibility of prom.

(Mr. Heere sits down on the bench next to Connor.)

Mr. H: Connor I'm so sorry. If I had had any idea this was gonna go this way-

C: Whatever. It doesn't matter. It wasn't your fault.

Mr. H: Yeah well hopefully missing out on Prom will teach him a lesson...and won't ruin it for you.

C: What? Oh. I'm not going.

Mr. H: Why not?

Connor(remembering his mother's words): ...I'm different.

Mr. H: Not that different! 

C: Well they've all got dates! And I...I've got nobody...

Mr. H: Well I've never been an expert in that respect but...you're a handsome guy Connor I'm sure you'll find someone someday.

Connor(Smiling sadly): No, I'm not.

Mr. H: Sure you are! Tell you what!

(Mr. Heere takes him by the shoulder and leads him to his feet)

Mr. H: Let's pretend-

C: Mr. Heere I really don't- 

Mr. H: Just for a minute! Let's pretend someone comes up to you and asks you "Connor, would you go to Prom with me?". What would you say?

(Connor looks a bit uncomfortable, looking at his shoes.)

C: ...No.

Mr. H: C'mon Connor this only works if we're honest with oursel-

C: No.

Mr H (Shocked): Why not?

C: ...I'm not...a good guy.

Mr. H: Sure you are!

Mr H:  
So many years,  
You faced the world alone,  
Frightened that life  
Might pass you by.

Then they appear,  
Someone who smiles at you,  
This is no time  
To question why.

Love can find you when you least expect,  
Funny how two lives connect.  
That's how it starts,  
Two unsuspecting hearts.

Let yourself go,  
Give someone half-a-chance,  
Maybe their waiting  
Just for you.

You never know,  
This could be paradise,  
Maybe your dreams  
Just might come true.

And you never know how things might go,  
Once you share that first hello,  
That's how it starts,  
Two unsuspecting hearts.

(Spoken)  
Connor: I-I don't know, Mr Heere.  
Mr. Heere: And you never will if you don't give it a chance! Now listen. You are a very handsome young man.  
Connor: Me?  
Mr. Heere: Yes, you! You're the kinda guy that drives the girls crazy! Maybe with a bit of a trim-  
Connor: Hey! Now wait a minute-  
Mr. Heere: And with the perfect suit, Connor, it could be wonderful!

Mr. Heere:  
In a world where nothing's sure,  
And nothing's ever guaranteed.  
You should trust the way you feel,  
That's the only thing that's real.

It's like magic how your spirit soars,  
Once you feel their hand in yours.  
That's how it starts,  
Two unsuspecting hearts.

Connor (Mr. Heere):  
In a world where nothing's sure,  
And nothing's ever guaranteed (Nothing's guaranteed)  
You should trust the way you feel (Trust the way you feel),  
That's the only

Both:  
Thing that's real  
It's like magic how your spirit soars,

Connor:  
Once you feel his hand in yours.

Mr. Heere:  
That's how it

Connor:  
That's how it

Mr. Heere:  
That's how it starts

Connor (Mr. Heere):  
Two unsuspecting (Two unsuspecting)

Both:  
Hearts!


	10. DEH Carrie AU Do Me A Favor?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe, feeling bad about her brothers treatment at school, gets an idea to set everything right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two still don't have the best relationship in this AU but Zoe's protective instincts are kicking in and unlike Connor who goes into attack mode Zoe gets to scheming.

DEH Carrie AU Do Me A Favor?

(Light up on Zoe at the station.)

Z: Connor and I were never really close. When your brother tries to break down your door screaming that he was gonna kill you, you really couldn't be. But still...

(She gets a far away look in her eye as she processes her complicated feelings about her brother.)

Z: We were family. We...looked out for each other.

(Light up on Zoe walking with Evan.)

Z: What is it Evan? You've been rubbing at your neck for five minutes.

(Evan shyly takes his hand away from his neck.)

E: J-Just...thanks for saying yes! Imeanyoureallydidn'thaveto-

Z: Evan! Chill! It's not like it's an...imposition or anything...

E: A-Are you sure you're mom's gonna let you go? You m-mentioned she was pretty strict.

(Zoe sighs.)

Z: She is...but I'm a mommy's girl. She let's me get away with almost anything...So I heard you we're a big hit in English class today?

(She throws an arm around his shoulder and pulls him close.)

E: Heh. Hardly.

(Evan blushes.)

Z: You're gonna be a great writer someday.

E: If you say so. H-Hey is something b-bothering you? You seem...off.

Z: ...You wouldn't get it.

E: Hey I t-told you my thing! It's only fair.

 

Zoe:

I’ve been worried about what happened at school

The way those boys treat Connor, well it really is too cruel

Now I realize this is hardly your concern

I hate to drag you into this, but I’ve got nowhere else to turn

Do me a favor

(Do me a favor, Whatcha say?)

Do me a favor

(Do me a favor, Wanna play?)

 

(Light up on Jared shooing Chloe off of him as he stomps away.)

 

Jared:

Cut it out Chloe! I’m not in the mood!

Chloe:

What the hell, why not!?

Jared:

I’m pissed!

(Do me a favor, Say OK)

Chloe:

Jesus, can’t you just forget about it?

Jared:

I don’t wanna forget about it, Chloe. (Do me a favor, make him pay) They humiliated me. (Do me a favor) And you know who I blame?  
That God damn freak!

Jared (sung):

There’s something that Connor Murphy’s gonna have to learn!

If he plays with fire, he’s gonna get burned!

I want him to pay up for all that he cost me!

And make him good and sorry that he ever crossed me!

You gotta help me

Zoe:

Can you help me?

Zoe/Jared:

I can even up this debt!

And we could both give Connor Murphy a night he won’t forget!

Do me a favor!

Evan:

B-Both? What do you mean both?

Chloe:

Me? What do you need me for?

Jared:

Revenge, Chloe. And you’re gonna help me get it. By the time we’re done with him, that freak’s not gonna know what hit him!

Chloe:

You always amaze me with the way that you think!

If I was your parents, I would buy you a shrink!

(She ruffles his hair)

You’re pissed off

That’s so hot!

I like you this way!

Whatever your game is, boy, I’m ready to play!

Zoe:

I’ve been thinking ‘bout how happy he would be

If only you’d take Connor to the prom instead of me? 

Na na na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na na na

Evan:

Do what?!

Who do you want me to invite?

I thought that that was gonna be our night

I know you’re only tryin’ to do what’s right

But no!

Sorry to be so impolite!

(He starts to walk away but Zoe catches his hand.)

Zoe:

Think of Connor!

I’ve done everything I could!

But one small act of kindness might change Connor’s life for good!

Evan:

You’re kidding right?! He’ll eat me alive! I’m sorry, I, I just can’t do this.

Zoe:

Okay never mind.

(Zoe begins to leave)

Evan:

Zoe-

Zoe:

No! I need to fix this!

Evan:

Wait! I’ll do it!

Come on, come on! (come on, come on)

Evan:

Okay, okay, okay!

Jared:                                                                     There’s something that Connor Murphy’s gonna have to learn              
If he plays with fire, he’s gonna get burned!

 

Zoe:  
Once you help me  
I can even up this debt!

Jared/Zoe

I’m beggin’ I’m pleadin’, I’m down on my knees

If you really love me well then baby baby please,

Do me a favor!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh! We also get a hint at the unequal treatment of the siblings at home.


	11. DEH Carrie AU Telekinesis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor tests his newfound abilities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quickie!

(Light up on Connor, his hair tied up in a bun, in the quiet of the library googling "moving objects without touching them" on his phone. First result is A Guide to Telekinesis: The Art of Moving Things With Your Mind. Connor types "Telekinesis" into the search bar. Under his breath he mumbles the result.)

Connor: Psychokinesis, or telekinesis, is an alleged psychic ability allowing a person to influence a physical system without physical interaction. Psychokinesis experiments have historically been criticized for lack of proper controls and repeatability. There is no convincing evidence that psychokinesis is a real phenomenon, and the topic is generally regarded as pseudoscience.

(Connor's eyes narrow in disappointment, he sighs and flops his phone onto the table. His eyes catch a nearby pencil. He focuses on it, eyebrows furrowing in concentration. Nothing happens.)

Connor(muttering): C'mon!

(Slowly the pencil rolls over. Connor allows himself a giddy smile but doesn't break his concentration. Gradually the pencil begins to roll faster and faster until finally it falls off the table and hits the floor with a soft clack. A wide grin breaks out on Connor's face. Evan enters the library and sees Connor from behind)

Evan: Hey uh Connor! I um w-wanted to ask you-

(Caught somewhere between resenting him for joining in on the shower incident and feeling guilty for snaping at him the other day Connor grabs his bag and flees the library. Evan is left standing alone.)

Evan: ...something.


	12. DEH Carrie I've Been Invited to the Prom/ I Remember How those Boys Could Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan asks Connor to the prom. He takes it well. Cynthia does not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Larry was originally in this AU and Connor was conceived by a boyfriend of Cynthia's, but he really didn't do much and I realized he didn't have much of a place in this AU so he was cut.

(Evan and Zoe stand behind the corner of the house waiting for Connor to come home)

E: I'm gonna look pretty stupid when he turns me down.

Z: He won't! Trust me. I've seen the way he looks at you. 

(Evan frowns and whimpers nervously. Zoe puts a hand on his shoulder)

Z: Hey. No matter what he says, thanks for doing this.

(Evan smiles sappily up at her. Zoe spots Connor coming up the sidewalk)

Z: Oh crap! There he is! Here he comes!

(With everybody yelling at him Evan is about to rush out there in a panic but Zoe catches his shoulder again and pulls him back)

Z: Wait!

(She gives him a quick peck on the cheek and Evans skin flushes)

Z: For luck.

(She smiles. He puts a hand to his cheek and if it was possible he gives her an even sappier lovesick puppy grin than he did before.)

Z: Now get out there!

(She gives him a shove before running off and he stumbles out in front of Connor)

E: C-Connor! I just- I w-was- I w-wanted t-to...hi!

(Evan awkwardly holds up his hand in a wave)

Con: ...What are you doing here?

E: Wow uh straight to point! Uh pffff! H-here goes n-nothing. Connor I um I was I was wondering if uh-

(He fidgets the whole time, tugging at his shirt, playing with his hair, looking anywhere but at Connor.)

Con: Spit. It. Out.

(Connor leans closer with every word, not helping matters. Evan takes a shaky breath and summons every scrap of confidence in his body...It doesn't stop him from stuttering like mad though)

E: ...I-I-If you d-don't already h-have a d-date...w-would you...m-maybe...wanna go to p-prom? With me?

(Connor's eyes widen and his back straightens. He doesn't reply. He just stands staring at the slightly trembling boy in front of him)

E: ...Prom? I-It's this Saturday? I-I was-

(Connor's eyes narrow)

Con: I don't like to be fucked with.

E: W-What?

Con: I know who you hang around with!

E: H-Hey! I don't hang around with a-anyone I don't want to! E-Except Jared b-but that's- but it's-! 

(He stops himself realizing he's not making this any better. He sighs at last and just says)

E: I-Its complicated.

(Something about how utterly defeated the boy looks makes Connor swallow the growing paranoia creeping up his throat like bile and have mercy on the kid.)

Con: Why are you doing this?

E: C-cause I w-want to.

(Connor, almost bemused replies)

Con: No you're not!

(Evan pauses)

E: M-Maybe because you liked my poem. Maybe b-because I think we actually have a l-lot in c-common. Maybe because I t-think you deserve to hang out with someone nice for o-once.

(Before Connor can reply his mother's voice rings out)

C: CONNOR! DINNER!

Con: Shit! You need to go!

(Evan takes another deep breath)

E: Not until you say yes!

Con: WHAT?!

(Evan plants his feet as firmly as he can upon the concrete, clenches his fists and puffs up his chest as if that's going to make him in the least bit intimidating, his face betraying his pure terror)

E: Yup! We're d-doin this! If you w-w-want me gone you're g-gonna have to-

Con: I'd love to!

(Evan loses his stance almost instantly)

E: ...Really?

Con: Yeah that sounds...nice actually.

E: ...Okay! So uh...pick you up at eight?

Con: Sure.

C: CONNOR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE?!

(Connor quickly grabs Evan and ushers him away)

Con: (whisper shouting) GO GO GO!

(Once Evan is long out of sight Connor allows a small but genuine smile to come to his face and he murmurs)

Con: ...Thank you...

(to no one before turning and rushing inside.)

 

(Cynthia, Zoe and Connor all sit around the dinner table. Zoe leans disinterestedly back in her chair and Connor pushes his mothers latest disgusting vegan casserole around his plate with his fork, deep in thought.)

C (spoken):  
I don't know what you've been dreaming about tonight Connor. But you've hardly touched your dinner. Now have some pie.

Con (spoken):  
It clogs my skin Mama

(He tries to push the dessert plate away but Cynthia pushes it back.)

C (spoken):  
Nonsense. As Peter says, the only beauty that matters is the precious light that comes from within.

Con:  
Mama don't you think it's time  
I should try to get along?

(Zoe's ears perk up)

C (spoken):  
Whatever are you going on about Connor? Being different is the lord's blessing

Con:  
Mama people think I'm strange  
All the kids have called me names

C (spoken):  
Well then just don't listen to them. It is written "He who hears my voice alone shall be saved."

Con:  
Mama can't we stop and talk?  
There's this boy named Evan Hansen 

C:  
Connor

Con:  
I've been invited to the prom.

(He can't help but smile and Zoe is forced to hide hers behind her desert fork so she won't give the game away. Inside she's fist pumping. Her plan worked.)

C (spoken):  
Prom?

Con:  
I never thought that I would go  
When he first asked and I said no  
He asked me twice  
(His expression changes from surprise to a small smile.)  
He asked me twice  
And so I finally said alright  
I thought if you would help me that night  
I might look nice  
I might look nice

I know I'm not other kids  
I know I'm pretty weird  
But sometimes I dare to think I'm lovely  
Nobody feels the things that I do  
Mama please I'm just not like you  
Maybe I'll find someone who loves me!

Con(spoken):  
Evan's really a nice guy and I'll be home by midnight, I swear! It's Saturday! I've accepted Mama! I've accepted!

(Cynthia isn't listening. She's far away, lost in her thoughts.)

 

C:  
I remember how those boys could dance  
Pressing close on friday nights  
They could sweep me away

Con(spoken):  
Mama

C:  
Oh how those boys were demons of romance  
In their cars we chased the lights  
I know just how boys will behave!

(She stands now her eyes ablaze with the fury of a woman scorned)

(Connor stands too.)

Con(spoken):  
Not this boy Mama, he's isn't like the others! He's nice, you'll see, really you will! Everyone isn't bad Mama! Not everything is a sin!

C:  
Oh how your father whispered in my ear  
First the kiss and then the touch!  
Mixing lies with the truth!  
He would sigh and try to draw me near  
Oh he'd swear he cared so much!  
That's what the boys do

(She points at him, angry and accusing)

They'll make promises!  
They will break your heart!  
Then they'll laugh at you!  
Watching you fall apart!

(She grabs him by the wrist)

Don't you think that I know?!  
Don't you think this has happened before?!  
It's the smell of the blood that will drive them mad!  
Chasing you like a whore!

Con(spoken):  
No!

(He jerks his wrist away)

C:  
Yes!  
Don't you know their game?!  
Have you lost your mind?!  
Can't you see satan's passion has made you blind?!  
And this boy's like the rest!  
And they're all like the serpents who crawl!  
You can beg all you want to the lord!  
Oh how your father came to me that night!

(Zoe stands up to come to her brothers defense but she's quickly drowned out)

Con:  
That doesn't mean that the same thing will happen to me!

C:  
With the smell of smoke and gin

Con:  
Give him a chance and you'll see!

C:  
With a lust in his eyes  
And he took me and touched me  
I tried to fight!

Con:  
Mama please listen you don't hear a word that I've said!

C:  
Satan gave your father sin!

Con:  
Sometimes I wish you were dead!

C:  
And the sin never died!

Con(spoken):  
Mama please stop!

C(spoken):  
You're not going!

Con(spoken):  
I already said that I would! I said yes!

C (spoken):  
Then say no! Tell him you changed your mind.

Con(spoken):  
Mama come back.

C(spoken):  
The rain's coming in. I have to close the windows.

Con(spoken):  
I'll get them!

(He holds his hand out and all around the house windows start slamming shut. Cynthia shrieks and Zoe jumps, in her terror she stumbles and falls back into her seat, her eyes never leaving her brother.)

C(spoken):  
Witch!

(Connor slowly turns his head to look at his mother.)

Con:  
I am not afraid of you at all  
I have nothing left to lose  
I have power I can use  
Nothing you can say or do  
will ever stop me again!

(Connor calmly returns to his seat and finishes his pie as his sister and mother stare at him stricken with fear.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We see more clearly than ever Cynthia's repressed hatred of her son. Additionally Zoe's adopted. Just throwin that out there.


	13. DEH Carrie AU A Night We'll Never Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone prepares for prom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This fic is in collaboration with iusedtowearthefedora on tumblr! Here's a link to her version: https://i-used-to-wear-the-fedora.tumblr.com/post/170513718609/dear-evan-hansen-carrie-au-spooky-murphy-i

(The hallways buzz with excitement as the school prepares for Prom.)

 

All:  
You ain't seen nothin' yet!  
It's gonna be a night we'll never forget!  
You ain't seen nothin' yet!  
It's gonna be a night we'll never forget!

All:  
Ohhh (Ohhh)  
You ain't seen nothin' yet!  
It's gonna be a night we'll never forget!  
Ohhh (Ohhh)  
You ain't seen nothin' yet!  
It's gonna be a night we'll never forget!

All:  
Holy shit senior prom’s just a few days away!

H.D.:  
I’ve had nothing to eat since yesterday!

H.C.  
I’ll be gone from this dump by the final week of May!

Brooke+Jenna:  
All I care is I’ll be there with the best lookin’ guy!

Rich:  
If she asks me to dance, I swear I’ll die!

Veronica:  
I will never look back once I finally say goodbye!

All:  
This will be just great!  
Oh my life is gonna take flight!  
Can’t wait ‘til Saturday night!

Yeah

Jake+J.D:  
Eighty bucks for a tux, damn we better get laid.

H.M.:  
You’ve been prayin’ for that since 7th! grade!

Rich+Jake+J.D.:  
Yeah, It’s the least we deserve after everything we paid

Brooke+H.M.  
Sad.

Veronica:  
Got the booze!

J.D.  
Got the weed!

Veronica+J.D:  
Got the limo for ten!

All:  
And we won’t get a chance like this again!

Boys:  
We’ll be leaving as boys, but we’re comin’ home as men!

All:  
This will be just great  
Yeah my life is gonna take flight  
Can’t wait ‘til Saturday night!  
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!  
It’s gonna be an night we’ll never forget!  
(Ohhhhh)  
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!  
(Ohhhhh)  
It’s gonna be an night we’ll never forget!

(We see Alana talking with Zoe at her locker.)

(Spoken)  
Alana: God Zoe, everybody is talking.

Zoe: Let them. I don’t care.

Alana: I, I can’t believe you’re going to miss your own senior prom.

Zoe: C’mon. It’s just one night.

(She smiles and shuts her locker.)

(We see the boys interrogating Evan.)

(Spoken)  
J.D.: You’re taking Creepy Murphy to prom?

Evan: I-I know it sounds a little c-crazy-

Jake: Have you lost your freakin’ mind?!

Rich: Yeah! If you were that desperate, why didn’t you just ask me?

(They all look at him.)

Rich: ...What? Joking!

All:  
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!  
It’s gonna be an night we’ll never forget!

(Connor sneaks off into the bathroom and pulls up fabrics prices on his phone. He catches himself in the mirror and starts messing with his hair.)

Connor:  
I bet other boys already know  
The ways to get their skin to glow  
But I can learn

(He looks back at his phone.)

I’m not sure how all these colors match  
Those boys they’ve got their tricks and traps  
But I can learn

(With confidence)

It’s my turn  
On Saturday night!

(He strides out of the bathroom and passes Mr Heere talking to the principal.)

(Spoken)  
Principal: You honestly think Zoe put Evan up to this?

Mr. Heere(Looks troubled): I’m sure of it.

Principal: Why in God’s name would she do such a thing?

Mr. Heere: That’s what I intend to find out.

Principal: What about Jared, is he still giving you grief?

Mr. Heere: Not a peep, which honestly worries me the most.

(Jared and Chloe sneak around backstage with a bucket.)

Jared:  
I believe in getting even  
That’s what I believe  
And I just don’t forgive and forget!

I don’t turn the other cheek  
For some pathetic freak!  
Connor Murphy's got a lot to regret!

(Spoken)  
Jared: Ugh, watch it, you’re getting blood everywhere, you stupid shit!

Chloe: Who are you calling stupid shit? This whole thing was your idea.

Jared: Damn straight it was. And it’s gonna be good!

Chloe:  
Old man Henty had a farm  
Eeee aiiii eeee aiiiii ohh

Jared  
And on that farm 

Jared and Chloe:  
We killed a pig!

Chloe:  
Eeee aiiii eeee aiiiii

Jared:  
Eeee aiiii eeee aiiiii

Jared and Chloe:  
(Jared dips her, things start getting sexual between them and they kiss.)  
Eeee aiiii eeee aiiiii  
Oh oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh oh  
(Oh oh oh oh)  
Ohhhhhh!

(Connor sews his suit in his room and Zoe looks sadly at her dress in hers)

Connor (Zoe):  
I never thought that I would go  
When he first asked and I said no  
He asked me twice (When Evan asked me)  
He asked me twice (Of course I told him yes)  
(Now we’ll never know, I guess  
How I might have looked in my blue dress)

(Connor holds his jacket up to his chest in front of the mirror and Zoe mournfully fingers the lace of the hem.)

Connor (Zoe):  
I might look nice! (I might have looked nice!)

All:  
This will be just great!  
(This will be great!)  
We're getting there but not quite!  
(Not quite!)  
Can’t wait ‘til Saturday night!

(Kids bustle around the gymnasium, decorating for prom while backstage Jared and Chloe raise the bucket of blood up into the rafters.)

You ain't seen nothin' yet!  
It's gonna be a night we'll never forget!  
You ain't seen nothin' yet!  
It's gonna be a night we'll never forget!

(Ohhhhhh)  
(There will be pain!)  
You ain't seen nothin' yet!  
It's gonna be a night we'll never forget!  
(No!)  
(Ohhhhhh)  
(There will be pain!)  
You ain't seen nothin' yet!  
It's gonna be a night we'll never!  
No never  
We’ll never forget!  
A night we’ll never forget!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....There will be pain.


	14. DEH Carrie AU You Shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan and Zoe get to have their dance after all.

(Light up on Zoe and Evan at the station.)

Z: If only...

Policeman: If only what?

Z: If only that day in that shower hadn't happened, if only I hadn't asked Evan to take Connor to Prom!

(Evan hesitantly places his hand on her shoulder.)

Z: If only someone had listened! Or payed attention!

(From the shadows)

Zoe?

Z: If only I could go back and-

Mr Heere: Zoe! Are you listening?

(The lights come up and Zoe turns to find Mr. Heere interrogating her and Evan.)

Z: Sorry...?

Mr. H: Well why did you two do this? Why did you ask Evan to take Connor to the Prom?

Z: I don't know. I thought it'd help get him out there, interacting with people. It's really none of your business.

Mr. H: Excuse me?

Z: What's the big deal?

Mr. H: It is a VERY "big deal" to Connor!

(He turns to Evan)

Mr. H: Evan, do you really want to take Connor to the Prom?

(Evan hesitates. Does he? He looks at Zoe then back to Mr. Heere then down at his shoes. He knows what his answer is.)

E: ...Yes sir.

Mr. H: Alright. But if the two of you are thinking of playing some kind of joke, then you'll answer to me.

(He walks away and leaves the two alone in the hall.)

Z: What was that about?! I thought we were on the same page about this!

E: We are! I w-want to make things r-right as much as you do!

Z: Then what was that? He's suspicious of us now! Do you not wanna do this?!

E: No I do! I just- it's just...I was r-really looking forward to taking y-you to Prom.

(Zoe sighs.)

Z: You think I didn't want to go? But I have to do this. Connor may be an ass but he's family. We look out for each other.

(She gets a far away look in her eye. Maybe remembering a time when Connor protected her. There is silence between them.)

E: H-hey. I've got an idea.

(Cut to the gymnasium Mrs Fleming and a group of students are carrying in supplies for Prom. The gym is already half decorated.)

Kids:  
Hail Alma Mater!  
Oh mother we salute you!

(Heather Duke hands Mrs. Fleming a box full of ballots.)

H.D.: Here you go Mrs. Fleming.

Mrs. F: Oh thank you for getting the ballots Heather I really appreciate it.

H.D.: Anything for you Mrs. Fleming!

Jenna: Hey you guys, leave the decorations! We'll finish them after lunch!

Jake: Last one out gets the lights!

(Rich flicks the lights off and everyone leaves except Heather Duke who signals to Jared who climbs down from the rafters to meet her.)

J: Did you do what I told you to?

H.D.: Don't I always?

(Duke pulls out of her skirt pocket a bunch of seemingly identical ballots. Jared puts his hand over his heart.)

J: You're such a good friend, Heather.

(They're startled by the sound of Zoe and Evans approaching footsteps and both run off in different directions. Evan pushes the door open and Zoe smiles widely at the sight of the half decorated gym.)

E: We may not have Prom, b-but we have right now. And that's what matters.

Z: Awww! Evan!

E: Alright so I've j-just pulled up in my mom's car! (He mimes turning a steering wheel making a car sound with his mouth.) And you're in your pink dress-

Z: Blue.

E: Ah! You look g-great in blue.

Z: Hah! You would know!

(Zoe plucks at his blue polo.)

E: Hey! And I'm in my r-rented tux and I look like a c-complete dork. And it's kiiinda cheesy. But...nice. And then you d-drag me onto the dance floor.

(Evan offers his hand and Zoe pulls him to the center of the gym.)

E: And of course I h-hate dancing...but it's the last dance of senior year and I'm s-sharing it with you. The most incredible girl I know.

(They both blush.)

Z: You give me way too much credit.

E: You don't give yourself enough!

(They start to dance.)

Evan:  
If you could see the way that you look to me  
I bet that you'd be amazed at the sight!  
You'd see a heart that's fearless and true!  
From my point of view  
Oh, you shine

Z: You're amazing. Why do you always know just what to say?

E: You're kidding right? I'm a complete mess!

Zoe:  
I think you hide so much you feel inside  
But I know deep down there's a fire burning bright!  
From where you stand it might not be clear  
But you shine from here!

Evan and Zoe:  
No doubts, no more fears!  
I see you shine and the dark disappears!

Evan:  
And I know everything is gonna be fine!  
Because you shine, oh how you shine!  
You shine!

Zoe:  
What a surprise, gazing into your eyes  
I swear that I still get lost in the light!  
No photograph could possibly show  
The you I know!

Evan and Zoe:  
No doubts, no more fears!  
I see you shine and the dark disappears!  
I'll be your mirror and you can be mine!  
Look to me and you'll see!  
Just how you shine!

E: Oh crap! I've got to pick up my tux before they close!

Z:  
Evan? Thank you.

E:  
I love you.

(He leaves.)

Z:  
I love you. He'd never said that before.  
That's what I remember most about that day.

(She's back at the station sitting next to Evan.)

Zoe:  
No doubts, no more fears.  
I see you shine and the dark disappears  
Then I know everything is gonna be fine  
Because you're mine!

(She starts to cry softly. Evan gently covers her hand with his.)

You shine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evan and Zoe really are too cute together...shame about all the traumatizing shit I'm about to put them through.


	15. DEH Carrie AU Why Not Me/ Stay Here Instead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cynthia tries one last time to convince her son not to go.

(We see everybody getting ready for prom, Evan's mom kisses his cheek, wishing him luck)

All:  
Breathe!  
This will be great!  
Nails? Dried  
Bow? Tied  
Teeth? Brushed  
Face? Flushed  
Looking good!  
Got the car  
Score. Keg party!  
Double score! Unbuckle it!  
Kick that shit! Safety off!  
Hey how 'bout a maybe? Drive!  
Safety off. Smokes? Got 'em!  
Gettin' it up, gettin' it up!  
Breathe  
Paces.  
Heart races.  
One shot.  
Ready?

(Connor stands at the mirror in his room, in the middle of getting dressed)

Connor:  
Not.

(Connor walks over and grips the threshold of his closed door)

Connor:  
If I can make it down the stairs,  
If I can make it to the door  
If I can open it and say, "Oh Evan, hi."

Maybe he won't even notice  
That I'm staring at the floor  
But if other guys can do this why can't I?

If I can keep my knees from buckling  
If I can keep my head up high  
Then I will never give the world a chance to see

That underneath this cool expression  
I am screaming at the sky  
But if other guys get through this, Why not me?

(He looks at himself in the mirror and gives himself a smile, trying it out.)

Connor:  
Why not me?  
Why not me?

(He grabs his blue necktie and starts to fasten it as he paces)

Connor:  
Oh I anticipate the whispers,  
And I expect that kids will stare  
But they won't rattle me  
No matter what they do!

I know I will not be welcome  
But at least I will be there!  
Cause if other guys belong then I do too!

(He lifts up the sleeves of his suit jacket, admiring it.)

Connor:  
Why not me?  
Why not me?

(Connor takes the silver cufflinks, one of the few things left from his father in the house and begins to put them on)

Connor:  
I know it's only a dance,  
And I know it's only one night  
But this might be the start of my journey  
Out of the darkness,  
And into the my new life!

(Connor splashes some cologne on, just a bit of aftershave to get his skin glowing, and brushes the tangles out of his hair)

Connor:  
Why not me?

I'm gonna talk with some confidence!  
I'm gonna walk in these damn shoes!

(He hops slightly as he slides the fancy shoes on while standing)

Connor:  
I'm gonna fight the urge  
To turn around and flee!  
And then I will feel the magic  
I'm told anyone can feel  
When the stars align  
And life is full of possibilities!  
And if anyone can feel that way then why,  
Why not me?

(Connor goes back to the mirror and continues to touch himself up. His door creaks open slightly and Zoe stands there awkwardly. The two of them meet eyes and the tension in the air is thick enough to cut with a knife)

Zoe: ...Have fun tonight.

Connor: ...I will...thanks...

(Zoe pauses uncomfortably before turning and dashing to her room. Connor continues with his preparations. Cynthia appears at his door. She's sweating, visibly nervous.)

Cynthia: He's not coming.  
Connor: He is coming!  
Margaret: Don't you see? You mustn't go!

Cynthia:  
Stay here instead  
Just tell me what you'd like to do!  
We'll talk and we'll laugh  
And I'll sing to you!  
And I promise you we won't fight!  
Don't leave tonight!

(She comes up behind him and puts her hands on his shoulders)

Connor:  
Mama, I'm late.

(He brushes her hands off of him and continues brushing his hair)

Cynthia:  
The boy doesn't care  
Not at all!

Connor:  
He'll be here at eight.

Cynthia :  
He'll build you up only to watch you fall!  
Connor!

(She squeezes his shoulder)

You don't know these people  
They're not your friends!  
Connor!  
They're only waiting to tear you in two!

(His tone becomes tense)

(Spoken)  
Connor: What if they like me?

Cynthia:  
Just like your father they'll leave when they're through!

(Spoken)  
Connor: They might like me. They'll like me!

Cynthia:  
You're such a fool!

(He shoots her a glare, a reminder of his power, a warning.)

Cynthia:  
Aren't you aware how people deceive?  
They'll take you and break you!  
And then they will leave you  
Connor, Connor

(She cups his cheek)

Cynthia:  
Connor,  
You are the love I was betrayed for  
My pride and my shame  
My Connor!

(Connor covers the hand on his cheek with his own and leans into the touch)

Cynthia:  
Connor, we're one and the same!  
Oh, Connor

Connor:  
Mama, I love you

Cynthia:  
Connor…

(He pulls her hand away and clasps it in his)

Connor:  
I'll always love you

Cynthia:  
Don't go!

(She kisses the fist she holds in her hand)

Don't go.  
Don't go!

(There's a knock at the door)

(Spoken)  
Cynthia: I'll say you're sick! I'll say you've changed you mind!

(Connor throws her hands down)

Connor: You'll say nothing, Mama! You'll stay here, and not say a word!

(He grabs his jacket, puts it on, gives himself one last look in the mirror and leaves to get the door, Cynthia a few steps behind him. Connor opens the door and Evan stands nervously.)

Evan: Uh...hi.

Connor: ...Hi.

Evan: Um you l-look nice!

Connor: Thanks. You too.

(There are a few moments of awkward silence before Evan holds out a blue flower  
boutonniere)

Evan: Uh this is for you!

Connor: Oh wow...thanks.

(Evan gestures to him)

Evan: ...D-Do you want me to-?

Connor: Please.

(Connor leans his chest forward a bit and Evan fastens the flower into the buttonhole of Connor's jacket. A few more moments of awkward silence. Cynthia stands behind Connor, watching all of this.)

Evan: I-I'm just gonna go s-start the car- 

Connor: Yeah ok! I'll be right there!

(Evan goes to start the car, Connor lingers at the door for a moment)

Cynthia: ...I should have never had you.

(For a moment Connor's face fills with anger, hurt and betrayal. His fists clench at his sides, he let's out a breath through his nose and he calms. Without turning he replies)

Connor: Then why did you, Mama?

(He turns at last)

Connor: Why did you?

(He walks out of the house to join Evan in the car)


	16. DEH Carrie AU Prom Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment you've all been waiting for. The night of Prom.

(Kids are dancing around excitedly, ecstatic to finally arrive at the Prom)

Kids:  
Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh  
Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh  
Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh  
Ohhhhhh

Check it out!  
Check it out!  
Love it, hate it  
Hate it, love it, now!  
Look at you,  
Look at look at you-hoo  
Looks as if we finally made it out!

(Spoken)  
Nerdy camera Boy: Alright Bitches, this is for the yearbook! Smile and say, "Peniiiiiis!"  
All: Penis!

All:  
Let's go!  
Oh-oh Oh!  
We'll drink 'till we drop  
And we'll party all night!  
This will be great! (This will be great)

A night we'll never forget  
You ain't seen nothing yet  
It's gonna be a night we'll never forget  
You ain't seen nothing yet  
It's gonna be a night we'll never forget

(Connor and Evan approach the gym doors)

(Spoken)  
Evan: You okay?

Connor: I think so... Nervous.

Evan: Me too. 

(He looks in through the small window at the packed gym.)

Evan: Woooooah... W-We can go somewhere else! G-Grab something to eat-

Connor: NO! I wanna do this!

Evan: Alright then, let's do it.

(Evan pushes the doors open and they walk in, unconsciously taking each others hand.)

All:  
You ain't seen nothing yet  
It's gonna be a night we'll never forget

(Spoken)  
Jenna: Connor?!

Rich: Is that Connor Murphy?

Heather Chandler: You have got to be kidding!

Jake: No fricken way!

Brooke: Way! OMG! Connor you look amazing! You clean up soooo well!

Connor: Um...thanks?

Rich: Evan! Man, if I'd known you were gonna look this good, I'da taken you instead of whatsername over there.

(Evan laughs nervously)

Evan: Uh...thanks Rich.

Jake: Dude where'd you buy you're tux? I look like a douche in mine.

Connor: Oh I-I made it.

Jake: 'Made it?' No shit!

Connor: No shit.

H.C.(Sarcastically): 'OMG! I can't get over it! Connor you look positively stunning!' And Brooke...don't you look sweet.

Brooke: Get douched, Heather.

(Connor stifles a laugh with his hand)

H.C.: You find something funny Murphy?

Connor(Laughing): Actually, yeah. I do. But what I find funnier is your dress. You look like a powder puff!

(The group laughs)

Jake: Good one, Murphy!

H.C.: Asshole!

(Heather Chandler flounces away, offended. Connor walks back over to Evan as the rest of the group disperses.)

Connor: Did you see that?! It was like night and day?!

Evan: Their...not so bad! Once you get used to them.

(Alana Beck approaches them)

Alana: Oh hello Evan! Connor! I didn't know you two would be attending together!

Evan: W-well we- 

Alana: I am here by myself. I think it's a rather old fashioned notion that one needs a partner to attend a dance. Anyway you both look nice. Well I must be going! Have a fun night you two!

(She leaves as quickly as she came)

Evan: ...Um...

(Connor chuckles)

Connor: Don't mind her. She's always like that.

Evan: You know her?

Connor: I think I had her as a lab partner once.

All:  
You ain't seen nothing yet  
It's gonna be a night we'll never forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We creep ever closer.


	17. DEH Carrie AU Two Unsuspecting Hearts Reprise/Dreamer in Disguise Reprise/Prom Climax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all comes to a head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These next few numbers are relatively short so I'm gonna be combing a bunch of them into the last few chapters.

(Nerdy camera Boy approaches Evan and Connor and points his camera.)

Nerdy camera Boy: Hey you two! Hold right there. Smile!

(Connor puts an arm around Evans shoulder and pulls him in close. They smile. The camera flashes.)

Nerdy camera Boy: That's a keeper!

Mr. Heere: Connor?

Connor: Mr Heere!

(Mr. Heere rushes up and hugs him, Connor awkwardly returns it.)

Mr. Heere: Oh my goodness you both look so handsome!

Connor: You're not so bad yourself.

Evan: Uh I'm gonna g-get some punch, do you want s-some Connor?

Connor: That'd be nice. Thanks.

Evan: Be right back.

(Evan leaves to get it. Connor stops to take in his surroundings.)

Mr. Heere: So tell me Connor, is it everything you ever dreamed?

Connor: It's...nice.

Mr. Heere: Just nice?

(Connor makes a vauge bewildered gesture with his hands)

Connor: It's like being on Mars! I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do!

(Mr. Heere guides them over to a table.)

Mr Heere: You know I have a son about your age. He graduated about a year ago. I remember his prom. He went with his boyfriend Micheal in his P.T. Cruiser-

Connor: Where's this story going?

Mr. Heere: -which of course broke down. So they had to walk the last half mile to dance!

Connor: Oh no!

Mr Heere: By the time they got there their feet were so blistered all they could do was just sit there. Micheal was sure he had ruined the night, they couldn't dance. But then they just sat there and talked. And you know what? They said it was one of the best nights of their entire life.

Connor:  
So I guess I'm not the only one  
Who's ever felt this way  
Now I'm thinking suddenly  
If they got through this  
Why not me?

Mr. Heere:  
Oh the sweetest memories never planned  
Let life take you by the hand

Connor/Mr. Heere:  
That's how it starts!  
Two unsuspecting hearts!

(They hug. Mr. Heere sees Evan coming back.)

Mr. Heere: Have a wonderful time, kiddo.

Evan: Here's your punch. 

Connor: Thanks.

(They go to find a table. They sit and talk for a while.)

Mr. Heere: Okay ladies and gentlemen! It's time to cast your votes for king and queen of the Prom!

Jenna: This contest insults women!

J.D.: This contest insults men.

(A few kids cast their votes, J.D. comes up to Connor and Evan's table.)

J.D.: Hey uh, some of us were going over to Ala Mode afterwards we were wondering if you guys wanted to come?

Evan: Oh t-thanks guys but I k-kinda promised I'd have him home by mid-

Connor: That sounds great actually!

J.D.: Cool. Uh see you there.

Connor: ...Wonder what poor saps their gonna name this year?

Evan: Yeah. Who s-should we vote for?

Connor: Lets just vote for ourselves. Fuck fake modesty.

Evan: Yeah. F-fuck it.

Connor: Wow. I think that's the first time I've heard you swear! ...Hey um...do you wanna dance?

Evan: Oh uh sure.

Connor: I mean if you don't want to-

Evan: N-No this is your prom. We should d-dance at l-least once.

(Connor takes his hand and they make their way out to the dance floor. They begin to dance awkwardly, Evan keeping his eyes on the floor.)

Connor: I don't know much about dancing but it would probably be easier if you stopped staring at the floor.

(Evan picks his eyes up and looks shyly at Connor's tie.)

Evan: Sorry I r-really don't know much about this stuff.

Connor: Join the club we've got jackets.

Evan: Was that a shrek reference? 

Connor: Maybe.

Evan: Haha!

Connor: This might be better if you looked at me.

Evan: Sorry!

Connor: You don't have to keep apologizing Evan I'm just as nervous as you are.

Evan: N-No ones as n-nervous as I am.

Connor: Mmm I'm pretty sure I'm more nervous than you.

Evan: Did this just become a competition as to who's more nervous?!

Connor: Yup and I'm winning.

Evan: Haha! You're ridiculous!

Connor: Hey you're the one who wanted to take me!

(Evan finally lifts his eyes to Connors.)

Evan: ...and I'm really glad that I did.

(Connor blushes and they continue to dance.)

Evan:  
An eagle's just another bird until he can spread his wings.  
A river is just a sheet of ice 'til winter turns to spring.

Connor:  
And though the clouds may block the sun, don't mean that it's left the sky.

Evan:  
Just when you think you've seen it all, there's more to meets the eye.

Connor:  
Like things I dream,

Evan:  
And things I feel.

Connor:  
There's more to me

Both:  
Than I reveal

Evan:  
And cuz I shine in quiet ways, I'm someone you don't recognize.

Both:  
I am a diamond in the rough, a dreamer in disguise.

(Zoe enters silently)

Zoe: (spoken)  
I couldn't just stay home!  
Not after everything I went through to put this together!  
I had to go to prom and see how it all worked out!  
I needed to see.  
Connor looked so happy.  
So at ease.

Heather Duke: (spoken) Well would ya get a load of them!? Couldn't you just barf?!

Heather Chandler :(spoken) I can't believe Jared is missing this!

Heather Duke :(spoken) Trust me, doll, He isn't missing a thing.

(Jared and Chloe are hiding in the rafters above the stage watching the whole thing.)

Jared: Look at how he's smiling now, that stupid little cow!  
Well the real fun has not started yet!

Chloe:  
I've had it up to here with all your demands!  
You know that you're not the only one with blood on her hands!  
Now, I realize you gotta bone to pick  
But even for me, this trick is pretty damn sick!

Jared:  
I've got one last little beat, and then my plan's complete!  
For a night that he'll never forget!

All:  
Givin' it. Givin' it. (x5 under dialogue)

(Zoe comes up behind Heather Duke who is discreetly swapping the ballots)

Zoe: Heather? What are you doing?

Heather Duke: Zoe! Hi! I didn't expect to see you here. Oh god you're underdressed.

Zoe: What are you doing?

Heather Duke: Nothing!

(She tries to walk away but Zoe pulls her back by the sleeve of her dress)

Zoe: What's going on?!

Heather Duke: I'd love to stop and chat but I'm on official ballot duty. But stick around, Zoe. It's gonna be the best prom night ever!

All:  
Ooh  
Closer closer  
Slower closer  
Who could it be?  
You or me and me, you!

Heather Duke: Mrs. Fleming! I've collected all the ballots! Here you go!

Mrs. Fleming: Thank you Heather! Thank you so much! This is all so incredibly exciting isn't it!

All:  
Ooh  
Who could it be?  
You or me and me, you!  
It looks as if we're gonna make it!

Jared:  
I believe in getting even!

Chloe(crossing her arms):  
You always amaze me with the way that you think!

Connor: Why not me?

Evan: An eagle's just another bird

Connor: Why not me?

All:  
This is great!  
We're getting there but not quite!  
We're not quite there!  
This is great!  
So grab your date and hold tight!  
This is great!  
The night's about to take flight!  
Take flight!  
A night we'll never!  
No never!  
We'll never forget!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know what's coming next. Brace yourselves. It's gonna be bloody.


	18. DEH Carrie AU Alma Mater/The Destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no better way to describe it that that. The destruction.

(The principal and Mrs. Fleming are up on stage with a mic.)

Principal: Attention students! We give you this year's king and queen of the Prom...

(Everyone's attention turns to them except for Evan and Connor who are too absorbed in each other and continue to dance. The principle opens an envelope.)

Principal and Mrs. Fleming: Alana Beck and Connor Murphy!

(Alana starts freaking out as girls start alternately congratulating her and shooting her jealous glares. She runs up to the stage. Connor, upon hearing his name, turns to the stage shocked then looks back at Evan, who encourages him up onto the stage. Connor runs up and joins Alana.)

All:  
Hail Alma Mater  
Oh mother we salute you

(Connor and Alana are crowned and Mrs. Fleming hands Alana her roses. She beams at Connor who smiles back.)

All:  
We proclaim our devotion  
As we set our dreams into motion

(She offers Connor her hand and he takes it. He looks out into the cheering crowd and feels happiness swell in his chest. A spotlight shines on the two of them in such a way that Zoe, watching from the audience, can see the silhouette of a bucket hanging above Connor's head.)

Zoe: Oh my god!

(Realization quickly dawns on her and her eyes quickly scan the crowd for help.)

Zoe: Mr. Heere!

(She runs up to him and grabs him by the shoulder.)

Mr. Heere: Zoe? What are you doing here?

Zoe: Please you've gotta listen! Something terrible is about to happen!

Mr. Heere: I knew it! I knew you were up to something!

Zoe: What? No! You've got it all wrong!

Mr. Heere: Zoe I warned you! GET OUT!

(He throws Zoe out the dance and locks the door)

Zoe: NOOOO!!!!

All:  
All our heart's beat true  
Alma Mater 

(Zoe pounds on the door to no avail, helpless to stop her brothers oncoming humiliation. Meanwhile Connor is reveling in his moment. For once in his life everything has gone right.)

Jared: Chloe pull the damn cord! Pull it!

(With a harsh squeak and a loud scream the bucket is upturned and pigs blood is sloshed all over Connor.)

Brooke: Oh my god! That's BLOOD!

(Some kids start shrieking, others start laughing, meanwhile on stage Connor is spiraling, shocked into stillness, his moment ruined.)

Connor:  
Our father, who art in heaven  
Hallowed be thy name

(He brings his hands up to his face, sees the blood on them and his expression becomes terrified)

Connor:  
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!

(He grips his blood soaked hair and pants quickly trying to catch his breath as his expression shifts from horrified to furious)

Connor:  
I will not cry!  
I'm okay!  
I tried so hard to play it their way!

Mama, you should have told me!  
And God made man to bear the curse,  
The curse of lust!  
The curse of lust!  
His name is Evan Hansen, mama!  
I'll be home by midnight!  
An eagle's just another bird,  
Until he can spread his wings!

Kids: Open your heart, Let Jesus in!

Connor:  
They'll make fun of you!  
They will break your heart!  
Then they'll laugh at you!  
Watching you fall apart!

(Connor covers his ears as kids laugh and taunt him)

Connor:  
Doesn't anybody ever get it right?!  
Doesn't anybody think that I hear?!

(Connor gets a blank yet somehow still enraged look in his eye. All the doors to the gym slam shut. The students rush to the main entrance. Connor reaches out his arms and the students begin lurching back towards him as if being pulled.)

Connor:   
GOD HAS SEEN YOUR SINNING!  
JUST BEGINNING!  
PRAY FOR YOUR SALVATION!

(Connor throws his arms down and forces the students to the floor.)

FROM DAMNATION!  
PRAY OR  
HE WILL BURN YOU!  
HE  
WILL  
BURN   
YOU!

(The fire alarm rings out. A fire breaks out in the gym. Students start screaming and scrambling around trying to escape. Heather Duke climbs up on the stage to try to get around him but Connor swings his arm down and a heavy piece of Prom decor falls and splits her skull open. Rich, Brooke and a few other kids start trying to scale the bleachers to get to a window above it. Connor reaches out his hand and squeezes his fist, the bleachers close crushing Rich and the students inside. J.D. and Jake both grab chairs and try to take Connor out but he snaps both their necks. Alana and Jenna try to run but get psychically pulled back by Connor and thrashed back and forth as their internal organs are crushed. Connor reaches up and breaks the glass of the lights above them several people including Mr. Heere and Heather McNamara die from the falling glass. The large punch bowl is knocked over the chaos. Connor pulls wires from the stage and tosses them into the punch, electrocuting Heather Chandler, Veronica and many others. Connor turns to where Chloe is struggling and tangled up in wires. The wires move up around her neck.)

Jared: Chloe?! CHLOE?!

(Her neck snaps.)

Jared: AAAHHHH! NO! YOU GODDAMN FREAK!

(Connor turns to him raises his arms and walks forward, sending Jared careening, screaming into the wall. There's a loud CRACK! As he makes contact before Jared's crumpled body falls to the floor, silent and still. The fire roars around him as dead and dying students wail in pain. Connor stretches out his arm and the door opens. He slowly walks out as if in a trance. When he is safely outside he flings his hands forward and the school explodes into flames. Connor begins to walk home.)


	19. DEH Carrie AU Connor Reprise/ Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion.

(Light up on Evan at the station sitting next Zoe. They both look very shaken. Zoe's hand is on his back rubbing soft, slow circles.)

Evan: To this day I don't know how I got out. Zoe says I climbed out the window above the bleachers but I DIDN'T! I just remember falling, watching the window get smaller and smaller. It felt like something PUSHED me out. Maybe it was Connor, maybe I just don't remember climbing. Maybe...

(He pauses to compose himself and his voice is choked with emotion as he continues)

Evan: Maybe he was to busy with everyone else to notice me escaping...either way I got out. Just in time before the boiler exploded and the whole school went up in flames. No one survived...except Zoe and me. We followed the trail of destruction back to their house. And that's where we found him.

(Light up on Cynthia murmuring prayers in a quiet corner of her home.)

Cynthia: ...he who believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live and never die...I am the resurrection and the life he who believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live and never die...I am the resurrection...

(Connor slowly creeps into the room, covered in blood)

Connor: ...Mama?

Cynthia: Oh! Oh my baby! 

Connor: Mama please hold me!

(Connor runs forward into his mothers waiting arms, bursting into tears. Cynthia pulls him close and holds him tight as he sobs.)

Cynthia: Oh my poor little angel! What have they done to you?!

Connor: You were right Mama! They all laughed at me!

Cynthia: Shh! Shhhh! It's alright sweetheart! Mama's got you! Mama's here!

(Cynthia guides Connor over to her rocking chair)

Cynthia(There is a catch in her voice as she sings):  
Baby don’t cry now  
No more tears  
Mama will save you,  
From all your fears

(Cynthia sits and Connor rests his head in her lap as she runs her fingers comfortingly and lovingly through his bloodstained hair.)

Cynthia(on the verge of tears):  
Loo lullaby now,  
Mama is here.

Connor,  
Always remember that I love you  
My love is so deep,  
My Connor!

(She turns his head up to look at the ceiling)

Cynthia:  
Smile at the angels up above you,  
And sleep, baby, sleep!

Connor(sobbing):  
I love you Mama

Cynthia:  
I love you, Connor  
Baby don’t cry now  
Loo lullaby now.

(She slowly rocks him as she reaches into the folds of her dress)

Baby don’t cry

(Tears in her eyes, she pulls out a knife, intent on putting her son out of his misery. The blade swings down and she stabs him in the side. With a pained cry Connor falls over, betrayed and terrified he tries to crawl away begging for his life but Cynthia continues to advance on him with the knife)

Connor: ...Mama...STOP!

(Connor stretches out his hand toward Cynthia to defend himself and she clutches her chest, falling back into her chair as she gasps and writhes before falling still. Connor has accidentally stopped her heart. Slowly it dawns on him that his mother is dead.)

Connor: MAMAAAAAAA! NO!

(Connor begins to sob and pathetically crawl towards his mothers body. Zoe and Evan appear in the doorway)

Zoe: ...Connor?

(Seeing him badly injured they both rush forward to him. Zoe tries to take him into her arms and Connor jerks away from her like a frightened animal.)

Zoe: It's okay! It's okay it's just me. It's Zoe.

Evan: And Evan!

Connor: I-It hurts! I want Mama!

Zoe: It's alright! You're gonna be okay!

Connor: It's cold! ...I'm scared!

(Evan and Zoe gather him up in their arms)

Zoe: It's okay. We've got you.

Zoe:  
No doubts  
No more fears  
I see you shine  
And the dark disappears 

(Connor's head sags as he dies in their arms)

Zoe: No! No!

(Evan and Zoe begin to sob. The ghosts of the dead students begin to file into the room as Zoe gently lays his body down.)

Alana: One day you finally see him  
Boys: One day you finally see him  
Girls: One day you finally see him  
Alana: Finally see him  
Everyone: Finally see him  
Evan and Zoe: For years, you look  
Everyone: You look at someone passing by  
Girls: And then one day you see him  
Boys: And then one day you see him  
Everyone: One day you finally see him. Now  
Evan: How can I not see?  
Everyone: Was? Was I so blind?  
Girls: I could say, say  
Boys: I could say  
Everyone: Thank God that's not me.  
But what does it cost to be kind?  
Boys: Blinded. And silent, too scared to be  
Everyone: And to finally see. And to finally see.

(The students walk in a circle around Connors body as Zoe offers Evan a hand and he stands. She tries to lead him away but he stops them for a moment as he looks back. Connors body is standing now, that same blank, trance like look on their face. He is staring at the back door to the house.)

Evan: I felt as though this boy revealed himself to me.  
And now, I know  
Boys: Fin'lly see  
Girls: Fin'lly see  
Evan: That once you see, you can't unsee.

(Connor begins to walk. The backdoor swings open revealing a glowing white light that Connor walks into before the door closes with an unceremonious thud. Zoe leads Evan away from the scene. Light up on the two of them on the at the station, harsh lights shining in their tired, traumatized eyes.)

Policeman: Names please.

(Black.)

**Author's Note:**

> We see more clearly than ever Cynthia's repressed hatred of her son.


End file.
